In Nave ("On a Boat" in Latin)

Summer is the perfect time for The Lonely Island, Latinized. 

[Editor’s Note: The comedy group The Lonely Island made a splash with a spoof rap song “Lazy Sunday,” ridiculously using rap-style lyrics and video to describe an excursion to go see the movie The Chronicles of Narnia. They followed it up with a series of songs including “On A Boat.” If you ever get a chance to see someone performing this song in Latin with real gusto, you’ll agree that it’s even more ridiculous and absurd in Latin. For performance, not all the rhythms of language line up precisely — attitude is more important than rhythm for singing this one. But like any rap song it requires a fair amount of practice. As far as school use goes, this is not for the littles, as the original version is filled with curse words everywhere, most of which are not in the Latin version, though “irrumator” appears and there is a line about “coitum marina cum nympha.”]

IN NAVE (ON A BOAT)
(The Lonely Island / tr. Henderson)[2009]

babae! tergia prompta habeatis, mox incipiet res. 
omnes qui adestis humum petite,
vero parati adstate.
nobis ducibus, eamus.

in nave sum. in nave sum.
spectatote omnes me qui in nave navigo 
in nave sum. in nave sum.
oculis intentis spectate hanc navem.
in nave sum ecce meme scelestissime 
cæruleas per undas lætissime
labens. vento auctast celeritas.
obstare navem meam nequis, turpissime.

cape imaginem mei in nave
bibentis Santana spumans, quæ sapit. 
et sum vestítus natatorie,
fringo isicias, tu apud Kinko’s operarie.

delphino vehor, huc illúc agens,
et aspergenti: omnes madefiunt!
nec est hoc Sea World, est quam verissimum. 
in nave me, irrumator, oblivisci noli!

in nave sum et cito imus et est mihi nautice lodex exornata.

ego sum mundi rex in nave ut Leo. 
væ vobis in acta, qui non estis ego.

en surgedum, haec navis verast.

terram in nave sperno, sceleste 
eant arbores, o sceleste,
in malam rem. comitatus, sceleste, 
in stega strepit osa, moleste!

si mater me videret nunc
extentis bracchiis et tunc
volaturus navem in lunam sum
ut Kevinius Garnett cuncta possibilia.

sic, nunquam me in nave fore ratus sum aquosa via. 
Neptunus ecce me, o
nunquam diem talem fore, talem navem ratus pro me. 
ego coitum marina cum nympha expertus!

in nave sum. in nave sum.
spectatote omnes me qui in nave navigo 
in nave sum. in nave sum.
oculis intentis spectate hanc navem.